Paralyzed

living in constant panic
living in constant fear
Always fighting off the manic
Always hiding the tear

living day to day on pills to control emotion
This is permanently a cripple life
My head floods in waves like the ocean
Yet I rather play chess with greiff.

Sanity keeps slipping away
Feels like nothing will sway
My tears turn against me
Stinging like the salty red sea

Today is not my day
I can’t keep the PTSD at bay
My name is depression and anxiety
Thus my body has become a snack variety

Will I be up or will I be down
All it takes is a startling sound
Just take me to be sterilized
yet Here I am paralyzed

©2020 By Mary Robbins

Drama

I don’t care who you’re married too
I don’t care how you live your life
You’re a grown woman that pushed away her crew
All with the fucked influence of your wife

No one attacked you or her
Everyone tried to help
Everyone warned that she is sinister
Yet you set up the blow everyone felt

Alienated your family and friends
Invalidated the Struggles of people
We all concur you can’t make amends
You’ve become the evil

You said you don’t want to become this
Yet here we are with a twist
Now everyone is seriously pissed
Ignorance is your bliss

Karma came calling
There you are with her falling
I can just imagine you begging while you crawl
No forgiveness just building that wall

You had your chance
Yet we are taking a stance
Because you caused so much trauma
We’re tired of the DRAMA

©2020 By Mary Robbins

Where I may slumber

Now I lay me down to sleep
Where I see demons creep
Fighting hard to have a soul to keep
Torn asunder my life in blood seeps

Depression my old friend
The Demon that brings my end
The thing that plays mind games
The thing that tortures with emotional pains

I am miseries puppet show
All of the chaos through me it will flow
Darkness will consume from below
Negative thoughts only make it grow

I have nothing left
I am broken
Without breath
No word was spoken

The ground shakes with the passing thunder
The ground splits and hell revealed
Down on knees I appealed
Yet that’s where I may slumber

©2020 By Mary Robbins

Image Credit: Pinterest

Filled With Hate

Filled With Hate

Chaotic days ahead,
Speaking your last daily bread.
As you sing that song,
While token the bong.
Pass the dutchie to the left,
All while closing your eyes and holding breath.
Breathing and opening eyes after counting to eight,
The world is still filled with hate.

© 2019 By Mary Robbins

Clouds Of Grey

Society of Chaos and Plight
People Of Militia Ready To Fight
While others rather take Flight
This year seems to be out of sight

Civil War in the near horizon
As the POTUS sets the poison
He Rallies the supremacists
Not realizing they’re self-destructed catalysts

The real Americans shall not be defeated
And his wall will not be completed
He will try to become deep-seated
Yet his allies are depleted

We must persevere in the dark hour
No matter the height of his tower
We the people can not cower
Let them chant 4 more years we can counter

He goes down in history as a traitor
While bubba becomes his neighbor
Behind those bars of steel and slate
He knows it’s too late

Winds of change and fate sets
A reminder for them to limit bets
As the new dawn sets on this day
Under the smoking clouds of Grey

©2019 by Mary Robbins

When Does It End

Chaotic spiral out of control in frontal view
Lies and alternative facts he continues to spew
This nation built upon lies and war
Everything is tainted and rotten to the core

There’s no cure or hope for humanity
Sticks and Stones plus words break sanity
Doesn’t matter the political party when all is a calamity.
Whilst you scream for God with your fake Christianity.

Lords name taken times ten in vain
Repeating the history of Able and Cain
All humans do is leave a blood stain
All I can do is shake my head in shame

As I watch the world break and bend
As I wonder how people can pretend
Watching greedy people collect and spend
All I want to know is when will it end.

© 2019 By M. Robbins
Photo Credit – Daveed Benito

Twisted Cruelty

Rumors spread like wildfire
Fools believe without enquiring
Victims cease to defend
All that’s left is to break and bend
Nothing now except a Victims Silence
Victims are now in compliance

Drowning without water present
Emotional baggage continues to descent
Blackened Soul of depression
Constant are you okay question
Staring off blankly into the abyss
All while they became pissed

Depression has set in
Veins run thin
Blood pools on the floor
They are rotten to the core
Cyberbullies take another life
They didn’t care if it was a mother or Wife

Screaming Screw the Masses
As they act like asses
As they Screw the Victims of hurtful rumors
With Their following becoming tumors
All while they act like Royalty
With their pens twisted cruelty.

©2019 By M. Robbins

Suicide Bomb

Thrown under the bus times ten
Like groundhogs day it begins again
The past resurrects in front of me
I scream let me be free

tick tick tick

Harassed by sheeple
These are not ordinary people
How my heart hurts yet nothing is equal
Especially when we are past the sequel

tick tick tick

Every day is a nightmare
No more can I bare
No windows, just wall as I stare
I know what to do it’s clear

tick tick tick

All I desire is silence from hecklers
Yet still, they send their beckoners
The appeal of the knife
The appeal of ending this life

tick tick tick

He tells me to ignore and stay calm
He doesn’t understand I’m a Suicide Bomb 💣

© 2019 By M. Robbins

Lost

Lost

Like a robot I have no emotions
Many days I go with the motions
Yet something is lacking
My mind seems to be cracking
Weak and leary I have no backing
heartbeats you are no longer tracking

What has become of thee
That I can no longer see
No longer am I free
Cursed for all eternity
who am I with no identity
I have no warmth or amenity

Crushed is thy heart of homogeneity
Change has come with this oddity
My world filled with the darkness of late
Things at random and can’t contemplate
Madness swirling and lustful hate
Oh consciousness you took the bait

Here I will in the darkness stay
Waiting for that light of day
Even if I should fade away
Whilst demons have their place and play

My Soul comes with a cost
And thy veins will be frost
Eyes Have been exhaust
Myself entirely is lost

©2019 by M. Robbins

Living Dead Girl

Photo by Justin Gedak
Photo by Justin Gedak

Sleep is nothing more then a far off dream
So here I lay resting or so it would seem
As ashes fall from heavens face
I realize now that I’m in a 6×6 space

A daily reminder of the four walls
A daily reminder of those harassing calls
A daily reminder of how I’m trapped
A daily reminder of how people don’t see I’m handicapped

Life was never fair
Yet it use to be easy to bare
Once upon a time ago I use to care
Now all I do is mumble and stare
Once again into the dark
Once again to unleash the maddening lark

No room for compromise
Because in truth you speak lies
I no longer need fear
Nor do I shed that tear

You no longer rule this world
Go head let your lip curl
No surprise I became the living dead girl

© 2018 by M. Robbins