Waiting For Their Confession

Here I sit, contemplating
Depression fills my brain
PTSD plays its game
Mental illness dominates

I tried to help people clear their name
But rumours ensued and destroyed
The enemy was a media advertiser
A person who abused their power

A person paid to lie every day
But everyone was mesmerized
Everyone believed her lies
Never to realize
How wrong she was

Now I think about my demise
I’m tired of the spies
I’m tired of proving my innocence
I’m tired of playing self-defence

I’m tired of the pain
I’m tired of the horrid memories
I’m not the person she claims I am
I never did the things she said

She projected her crimes onto me
But everyone is blind and can’t see
All because she’s a paid media goon
Who made me the loon

She spewed venom like a snake
She said: You’re not an artist
You’re not a poet or writer
You’re not anything
I’ll take the piss out of you

She admitted that she was lying
In a UK slang
But everyone ignored that part
Now I have a dying heart

She tore me apart
She tarnished me
She ruined my chances to succeed
All because of her dirty deed

I told the truth with the information given
But even that organization’s CEO was a liar
They all threw me under the bus
Reputation ruined and friends lost

They put me on the cross
Made me the martyr
For their twisted games
While taking others down in flames
Continuously blaming me
While I watched their lies unfold

My life uprooted times three
I tried to ignore it
I tried to defend myself with the truth
I showed the proof
But it didn’t matter to the masses

Ten years and still no peace
Because she has family that are police
Nepotism was her saviour
Even though she has bad behaviour

She should be in jail
For malicious communication
For online cyberstalking
While her cronies did offline stalking
For gross violation of privacy
For sharing private addresses

Her crimes list is miles long
But she’s spared
She’s protected by media legal
She’s protected by nepotism

All I can do is watch my life fade away
All I can do is let the reaper take me away
Let his scythe end my life
My hours wasted
My trust betrayed

Never will I help another soul
Never will I trust humanity
Never will I live again with happiness
This is my death note before my illness takes me
All because of dirty lies
My Character is Murdered

Think of this as thirteen reasons why
Bullied, stalked, harassed
Mentally, verbally, and emotionally drained
Nothing can be regained

I sit here in the sorrow
They continue to burrow
Deeply infesting me with depression
Waiting for their confession

©️2023 M. Robbins

Unknown

Sitting here I stare
Longing to move
The pain I cannot bare
The chair now has a groove

Now all I do is think
As time passes in a blink
I’m cursed
Therapy made it worse

From left to the right
Withdrawn from the fight
Full body Neuropathy
I don’t want your fake empathy

I didn’t want excuses
I didn’t want this life
Crippled by pain
Feeling useless
Being shamed
And nothing, yet strife

I don’t hear you talking
Keep on gawking
Your ignorance is not bliss
Your education is a miss

Discrimination is what you did
The facts you did hid
You hindered me
That I do see

Karma you will face
As you fall from grace
No longer that Ace
I closed your case.

©2023 Mary Robbins

I’m Not Okay

I’m Not Okay

All the years that go by
All I can do is shake my head and sigh
Am I reminiscing or is it my PTSD
Am I losing it or do I just need to scream

Memories flashing before my eyes
Screaming as my mind dies
Enemies I have plenty to go around
Nothing is new it’s the same sound
The drums beat for a war
I rather have a vacation or a tour
I need an escape from this reality
Everything I say or do becomes brutality

People misjudge and misunderstand me
People refuse to see the real in me
I’m almost wanting to write a fact sheet
I’m tired of my doomsday on repeat

When will I have a break?
I need peace of mind
There’s no button to rewind
Live my life humble and be kind
Yet they use the rake

Here we go again ring the bell
Ding ding ding Round thirty
They play the game dirty
Ignore ignore ignore I yell

They’re rotten to the core
Moved four times over the years
Because of attacks and lies
Can’t go out to the store
Will, they ever get the bore

I’m tired of unexpected tears
I’m tired of the slurred cries
I want back my happy day
I want to say I’m fine
I want to smile
I want my time
All I see is vile
All I see is cybercrime
No, I’m Not Okay

©2021 By M. Robbins

When Does It End

Chaotic spiral out of control in frontal view
Lies and alternative facts he continues to spew
This nation built upon lies and war
Everything is tainted and rotten to the core

There’s no cure or hope for humanity
Sticks and Stones plus words break sanity
Doesn’t matter the political party when all is a calamity.
Whilst you scream for God with your fake Christianity.

Lords name taken times ten in vain
Repeating the history of Able and Cain
All humans do is leave a blood stain
All I can do is shake my head in shame

As I watch the world break and bend
As I wonder how people can pretend
Watching greedy people collect and spend
All I want to know is when will it end.

© 2019 By M. Robbins
Photo Credit – Daveed Benito